Consensus Mediation

Regardless of where or who we work with, differences and disagreements will arise and are indeed in inevitable. In fact, for an organisation be it large or small, to grow and develop, there needs to be a wide variety of views and perspectives. Conflict challenges us to come out of our comfort zones and can be one of life’s most effective learning tools. As Thomas Crum (1987, The Magic of Conflict) states “It’s not whether you have conflict in your life. It’s what you do with it that makes a difference” – so rather than trying to avoid or suppress conflict, we need to think about how to deal with and manage conflict effectively. This means that we can harness all the positive pieces – alternative views, energy and passion without getting caught up in the potentially destructive consequences – behaviours that damage both us and the other side.

So rather than finding ways to get away from conflict, we need instead to think about how we can ‘embrace’ it and equip ourselves with the skills, knowledge and attitudes that help us respond in a way that results in a better understanding and outcome for all concerned about the issues or situation in dispute.

What do we mean by ‘conflict competence’

Basically what we are referring to here is a set of skills, knowledge and attitudes that ensure that a conflict – essentially a difference of views or perceptions which potentially threaten something important for us – is dealt with in a way that finds solutions and doesn’t unnecessarily damage relationships. How we deal with and manage conflict is essentially something we learn mostly ‘on the hoof’ as we are growing up rather than being part of any of our formal education. Some of us will have learned ‘give as good as you get’, others will have learned to operate from a ‘don’t rock the boat’ mindset. Many of us know already what it is we do well in negotiating conflictual issues and what our blind spots might be. “I always fly off the handle” or “I give in too easily” are common themes when talking to people about how they deal with conflict.  The first step in acquiring conflict competence is to identifying what it is we need to do to keep conflict from becoming a destructive and negative event.

There are some formal assessments you can take to help you identify these skills. The Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, which is widely available, is one of these which focuses on key styles we use in conflict – are we accomodating, avoiding, competitive or collaborative.

Another option which you may wish to use is the Conflict Dynamics Profile instrument which focuses on the specific behaviours that people adopt in conflict, both positive and negative. The instrument measures along a scale of seven constructive and eight destructive behavioural responses and gives understanding and insight into the person’s typical behaviours that need to be worked on – either to do more or less of. Check out here for more information. This instrument has both an individual version and a 360-degree feedback version, depending on the type of information and situation that is required.

We are certified to administer this assessment and based on the feedback we can then design a conflict management coaching programme based on the person’s needs and profile.