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Going Around In Circles In A Conversation? Circular Arguing And How To Break That Cycle

A common question in ‘Difficult Conversations for Managers’ workshops is what to do when it feels like you are in one of those fruitless dialogues, a circular argument, repeating the same thing without achieving anything. The other person isn’t listening or taking on board what you need them to hear or understand. A recent example […]

The Number One Temptation In The ‘Mediator Role’ And Six Reasons Why Not To Succumb!

There you are, calm, level headed, objective. You’ve helpfully offered to mediate between two employees who’ve clashed. They are at the initial ‘story telling’ stage and you sit composed, with your impartial and non-judgmental hat on. You are patient, attentive, doing the rapport thing… nodding, kindly eye contact, open body posture and empathic ‘hmms’ at […]

Do You Get Caught In The ‘Yes…But…’ Trap? Getting Your Point Across In Difficult Conversations

Think about the last ‘difficult’ conversation you had to have with someone. Did you find yourself using some version of the phrase ‘Yes…but…’? You were trying to get your point across but they didn’t seem to be listening. Despite all your attempts to clarify where you were coming from in a reasonable and rational way, […]

Relationships That Endlessly Frustrate: Can The Dynamic Be Changed?

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” ~ Anaïs Nin The above quote neatly captures the psychological phenomenon, that while there is a factual and concrete reality out there, none of us have a truly objective view. There can be many different perceptions of the same situation. As an […]

Frustrated Trying To Deal With Difficult Behaviour? Try These 3 Simple Shifts

Frustrated trying to deal with difficult behaviour? Imagine you had a magic weather wand. A simple wave and you would have glorious sunshine, a gentle breeze with a cloudless blue sky above. With your magic wand you would lighten people’s moods, you’d lift people’s energy and motivation. In one swoosh, you could banish the grey […]