Problem solving in Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Problem-Solving Conversations – Drop the Advice and Help People Think for Themselves

Facilitating people to come up with their own solutions rather…
Managing a Crisis-Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Managing a Crisis? 3 First Aid Tips for ‘Difficult Conversations’

Even when your organisation is in crisis mode you still need…
Framing What You Need To Say In A Difficult Conversation Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Framing What You Need To Say In A ‘Difficult Conversation’ – Free Template

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMQ4AsWC4Cw&feature=youtu.be Download…
Difficulties in Working relationships Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Difficulties In Working Relationships: Understand And Reverse The Negative Cycle

When we find ourselves becoming increasingly annoyed, upset…
Persisting Behaviour despite Feedback Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

What If Someone Persists In A Behaviour Despite Your Feedback?

You've asked them once, you've asked them a second time and yet…
Chinese Whispers in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Don’t Play Chinese Whispers In Difficult Conversations!

“I know you think you understand what you thought I said but…
Trying to get your point across but they wont listen Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Trying To Get Your Point Across But They Won’t Listen?

Ever feel you've hit a brick wall (or an iceberg!) when trying…

Dealing With A Difficult Person? Start Here:

Video Transcript Hi, Mary Rafferty here. In this video today…
How to Listen when someone is Offloading on you Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How Do You Listen If Someone Is Upset, Annoyed And Off-Loading On You?

Listening is a much-lauded but greatly under-used skill - and…
Trying to Manage a Difficult Person Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Trying To Manage A ‘Difficult’ Person: Are They Taking Too Much Space In Your Head?

Does a person on your team sap everyone’s energy? Do…
Replaying-a-difficult-conversation-at-night-Mary-Rafferty-Consensus-Mediation.

Replaying A ‘Difficult Conversation’ In Bed At Night? Learn Why We Do It And How To Stop

What a peaceful, pastoral scene, a cow contemplatively chewing…
Circular arguing - Mary Rafferty, Consensus Mediation.

Going Around In Circles In A Conversation? Circular Arguing And How To Break That Cycle

A common question in ‘Difficult Conversations for Managers’…
Mediation Mindset- Mary Rafferty, Consensus Mediation

How To Implement A Mediation Mindset In Your Organisation

The Mediation Act, 2017 was passed in September 2017 and is…
How to Be more Resilient in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How To Be More Resilient In ‘Difficult Conversations’

In my ‘Difficult Conversations’ workshops, ‘being…
Temptation in the Mediator Role-Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

The Number One Temptation In The ‘Mediator Role’ And Six Reasons Why Not To Succumb!

There you are, calm, level headed, objective. You’ve helpfully…
Getting Caught in the Yes But Trap Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Do You Get Caught In The ‘Yes…But…’ Trap? Getting Your Point Across In Difficult Conversations

Think about the last ‘difficult’ conversation you had to…
Relationships that endlessly Frustrate Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Relationships That Endlessly Frustrate: Can The Dynamic Be Changed?

“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”…
Trying to resolve conflict Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Trying To Resolve Conflict? Are You Asking The Right Question?

“If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended…
Are you trigger happy when you open Emails Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Emails…Are You Trigger Happy? Read This Before You Press ‘Send’

In the late eighties I taught in Germany on a two-year Business…
Begin with the End in Mind in a Difficult Conversation Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Dreading A ‘Difficult Conversation’? Begin With The End In Mind

You know that feeling…. You’ve been tolerating and putting…
Frustrated trying to Deal with Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Frustrated Trying To Deal With Difficult Behaviour? Try These 3 Simple Shifts

Frustrated trying to deal with difficult behaviour? Imagine…
The Secret Ingredient in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

The Secret Ingredient For Success In Difficult Conversations

Does the thought of difficult conversations make your stomach…
Bring your Oxygen Mask in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Difficult Conversation? Don’t Forget Your Oxygen Mask!

You’re sitting in an aeroplane with your three year old son. Suddenly,…
Are you in Parent Child or Adult mode in at Work Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Are You In ‘Parent’, ‘Child’ Or ‘Adult’ Mode (Or All 3!) At Work?

“But what if you needed to give her a telling off…” This…
All Conflict Leads Back to Ourselves Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

All Conflict Leads Us Back To Ourselves

Many years ago I worked quite closely with another colleague.…
How Fit for Purpose are Antibullying Policies Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Are Your Anti-Bullying Policies Fit For Purpose?

Almost two years ago, Maria, a member of a team of ten, was finding…
How to say No and minimise conflict Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Do I Have To Say ‘NO’ When Managing Conflict?

When invited to outline their key challenges in ‘Difficult…
Bringing out the best in People Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Bringing Out The Best In People: A Social Cognitive Neuroscience Perspective (Part 2)

Did you ever play team sports as a child? If you were anything…
Bringing out the best in People Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Bringing Out The Best In People: A Social Cognitive Neuroscience Perspective (Part 1)

In a research experiment in 2001, two groups of people completed…
How High is your EQ Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How High Is Your Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

Internationally renowned neuroscientist, Antonio Damasio, tells…
Jumping to Conclusions- Look before you Leap Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Jumping To Conclusions – Look Before You Leap

Imagine this situation: you are walking down the corridor at…
Which Wolf will i Feed Interpersonal Conflict Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Which Wolf Will You Feed? Interpersonal Conflicts

A few weeks ago, I became embroiled in an interpersonal conflict…
Accountability Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How To Have Effective Accountability Conversations

Brian was hired 6 months ago as a new manager of a small team…
Informal Mediation Preparation Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation Ireland

Informal Mediation Preparation – Pre-Mediation Coaching

An HR Manager contacted me about an issue between an employee…
Making Feedback Work in Workplaces Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Making Feedback Work – Being a Good Receiver Of Feedback

'Feedback' is one of the top three issues that can cause conflict…
Difficult Relationships Positive to Negative Mindset Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Difficult Relationships: From Negative To Positive Mindset

Think of a situation where you are finding it difficult to deal…
Powerful Questions to prepare for difficult conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Powerful Questions To help Managers Prepare For ‘Difficult Conversations’

“Er... um, John, I need to talk to you about... something…” Of…
Perspective Taking in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How To Improve Perspective-Taking In Negotiations Or Difficult Conversations

Here’s a question: what key skill will improve the outcomes…
Battle over Positions Needs and Interests Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Don’t Battle Over Positions, Get To The Heart Of What’s At Stake – Real Needs And Interests!

One of the most useful models with which to view and work with…
How Conflict Competent are Staff in Your Organisation Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How Conflict Competent Are Staff In Your Organisation?

When I ask people in training courses and workshops to cite some…
Rebuilding Damaged Trust in Relationships Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Rebuilding Damaged Trust In Workplace Relationships

He has broken my trust in him – how can I ever trust him again?” Parties…
Lessons From Mandela Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Leadership, Forgiveness And Reconciliation Lessons From Nelson Mandela

As this week of mourning for Nelson Mandela draws to a close…
Consensus Mediation Mary Rafferty Empowering People To Resolve Bullying Issues

Empowering People To Resolve Bullying Issues

In recent times there is increased emphasis on resolving workplace…
Are you Walking on Eggshells Around Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Managing ‘Difficult’ Behaviour – Are You Walking On Eggshells?

'All those ideas around conflict resolution are really great,…
Staying Fair and Impartial During Informal Mediation- Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Mediating Workplace Conflict – Staying Fair And Impartial

A question I am frequently asked in training people in mediation…
Bullying and Harassment Informal Support Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Bullying And Harassment – Informal Support From Contact Persons

Bullying and harassment in the workplace continue to be one of…
Transforming Negative Feedback Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How To Transform Negative Feedback

A common challenge for managers is how to deal with employee…
Disagreement on Goals Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How To Handle Disagreement On Goals During A Performance Review

You probably have recently completed a performance review with…
Constructive Conflict Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Constructive Conflict: Are You An ‘I’ Statement Or A ‘You’ Statement Person?

To what extent do you engage in constructive conflict? Think…
Consensus Mediation Mary Rafferty Cognitive Vs Affective Conflict

Cognitive Vs. Affective Conflict

'Conflict is the stuff of life, it's what we do with it that…
The Indian Talking Stick in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Resolve Difficult Conversation With The Indian Talking Stick

One of the tools use to help people effectively negotiate a…
Switch to Meta-Conversation Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Conversation Gets A Bit Rocky? Switch To A ‘Meta’-Conversation

How often have you been in what starts as a fairly innocuous…
How to Manage High Conflict People Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How To Manage High Conflict People

Last month, I wrote about dealing with what is termed 'high…
Do You Know a High Conflict Personality Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Do You Know A High Conflict Person?

One of the challenges I came up against early on in my mediation…
What Are Conflict Hot Buttons Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Do You Own Your Conflict ‘Hot Buttons’?

Conflict 'Hot Buttons' are what specific behaviours and actions…
Improve Health and Wellbeing with Mindfullness Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Improve Your Relationships, Health And Wellbeing With Mindfulness Practice

Mindfulness or mindful awareness is about becoming aware by…
Five Ways to Improve Every Day Communication Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Five Ways To Improve Every Communication

One of the key principles of conflict resolution theory that…
Internal mediation programme Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Setting Up An Internal Mediation Programme

A previous post focused on how organisations can make the benefits…
Making Mediation More Available in Your Organisation Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Making Mediation More Available In Your Organisation

  There are numerous statistics on the high costs of…
Is Mediation Right For You Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation Ireland

Is Mediation Right For You? Take This Short Quiz to Find Out…

We'v had a few mediation cases recently that didn't reach agreement.…
Self-Reflection in Mediation Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Is There A Need For Some Self-Reflection Before Mediation?

While we have no solid research to support this assertion, our…
Who's Fault is it I'm Feeling Like This Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Whose Fault Is It That I’m Feeling Like This?

I heard a statistic recently that that over 90% of our current…
How Anger can Change our View of a Situation Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Do You Create ‘Demons’? How Anger Can Damage Our View Of A Situation

'The Power of Forgiveness' I had the wonderful privilege…
Afraid Of Raising A Difficult Issue Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Afraid Of Raising A Difficult Issue? Five Fears And How To Manage Them

"We fear the heat of an honest encounter" The headline above…
Listening in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Listening In A Conflict Situation – It’s Not Just About Nodding Your Head….

In the context of conflict resolution, listening as an intervention…
How Mediators Support Decision Making Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How Mediators Can Support Parties In Decision-Making

I attended the Mediators' Institute of Ireland Annual Conference…
Responding in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How Do You Choose To Respond In A Conflict Situation?

So much of our lives we tend to live on auto-pilot, running…
Time in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Facing A ‘Difficult’ Conflict Conversation? Be Sure You Give It The Time!

Not investing enough time into a 'difficult conversation' can…
Informal Options to Resolve Conflict Complaints Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Informal Options To Resolve Workplace Conflicts and Complaints

A previous post highlighted how easily workplace conflicts can…
The Role of Emotions in Negotiations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation Ireland

The Role Of Emotions In Negotiation

We negotiate in the workplace every day. Yet all of us have…
Manage Conflict More Effectively Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Manage Conflict More Effectively: Five Reasons To Get Past Being Angry

"Anyone can become angry — that is easy. But to be angry with…
Managing AntiBullying policies effectively- Mary Rafferty, Consensus mediation

‘Using A Sledgehammer To Crack A Nut’ – Anti-bullying Policies In The Workplace

How useful are Anti-bullying policies? We are currently getting…