Dealing with interpersonal conflict – constructive and destructive behaviours and approaches

Chinese Whispers in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Don’t Play Chinese Whispers In Difficult Conversations!

“I know you think you understand what you thought I said but…
Are you trigger happy when you open Emails Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Emails…Are You Trigger Happy? Read This Before You Press ‘Send’

In the late eighties I taught in Germany on a two-year Business…
Are you in Parent Child or Adult mode in at Work Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Are You In ‘Parent’, ‘Child’ Or ‘Adult’ Mode (Or All 3!) At Work?

“But what if you needed to give her a telling off…” This…
All Conflict Leads Back to Ourselves Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

All Conflict Leads Us Back To Ourselves

Many years ago I worked quite closely with another colleague.…
How to say No and minimise conflict Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Do I Have To Say ‘NO’ When Managing Conflict?

When invited to outline their key challenges in ‘Difficult…
Bringing out the best in People Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Bringing Out The Best In People: A Social Cognitive Neuroscience Perspective (Part 2)

Did you ever play team sports as a child? If you were anything…
How High is your EQ Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How High Is Your Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?

Internationally renowned neuroscientist, Antonio Damasio, tells…
Jumping to Conclusions- Look before you Leap Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Jumping To Conclusions – Look Before You Leap

Imagine this situation: you are walking down the corridor at…
Which Wolf will i Feed Interpersonal Conflict Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Which Wolf Will You Feed? Interpersonal Conflicts

A few weeks ago, I became embroiled in an interpersonal conflict…
Accountability Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How To Have Effective Accountability Conversations

Brian was hired 6 months ago as a new manager of a small team…
Informal Mediation Preparation Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation Ireland

Informal Mediation Preparation – Pre-Mediation Coaching

An HR Manager contacted me about an issue between an employee…
Difficult Relationships Positive to Negative Mindset Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Difficult Relationships: From Negative To Positive Mindset

Think of a situation where you are finding it difficult to deal…
Powerful Questions to prepare for difficult conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Powerful Questions To help Managers Prepare For ‘Difficult Conversations’

“Er... um, John, I need to talk to you about... something…” Of…
Perspective Taking in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How To Improve Perspective-Taking In Negotiations Or Difficult Conversations

Here’s a question: what key skill will improve the outcomes…
Battle over Positions Needs and Interests Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Don’t Battle Over Positions, Get To The Heart Of What’s At Stake – Real Needs And Interests!

One of the most useful models with which to view and work with…
How Conflict Competent are Staff in Your Organisation Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How Conflict Competent Are Staff In Your Organisation?

When I ask people in training courses and workshops to cite some…
Rebuilding Damaged Trust in Relationships Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Rebuilding Damaged Trust In Workplace Relationships

He has broken my trust in him – how can I ever trust him again?” Parties…
Lessons From Mandela Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Leadership, Forgiveness And Reconciliation Lessons From Nelson Mandela

As this week of mourning for Nelson Mandela draws to a close…
Consensus Mediation Mary Rafferty Empowering People To Resolve Bullying Issues

Empowering People To Resolve Bullying Issues

In recent times there is increased emphasis on resolving workplace…
Are you Walking on Eggshells Around Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Managing ‘Difficult’ Behaviour – Are You Walking On Eggshells?

'All those ideas around conflict resolution are really great,…
Staying Fair and Impartial During Informal Mediation- Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Mediating Workplace Conflict – Staying Fair And Impartial

A question I am frequently asked in training people in mediation…
Bullying and Harassment Informal Support Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Bullying And Harassment – Informal Support From Contact Persons

Bullying and harassment in the workplace continue to be one of…
Disagreement on Goals Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How To Handle Disagreement On Goals During A Performance Review

You probably have recently completed a performance review with…
Consensus Mediation Mary Rafferty Cognitive Vs Affective Conflict

Cognitive Vs. Affective Conflict

'Conflict is the stuff of life, it's what we do with it that…
Switch to Meta-Conversation Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Conversation Gets A Bit Rocky? Switch To A ‘Meta’-Conversation

How often have you been in what starts as a fairly innocuous…
How to Manage High Conflict People Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

How To Manage High Conflict People

Last month, I wrote about dealing with what is termed 'high…
Do You Know a High Conflict Personality Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Do You Know A High Conflict Person?

One of the challenges I came up against early on in my mediation…
What Are Conflict Hot Buttons Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Do You Own Your Conflict ‘Hot Buttons’?

Conflict 'Hot Buttons' are what specific behaviours and actions…
Five Ways to Improve Every Day Communication Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Five Ways To Improve Every Communication

One of the key principles of conflict resolution theory that…
Making Mediation More Available in Your Organisation Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Making Mediation More Available In Your Organisation

  There are numerous statistics on the high costs of…
Afraid Of Raising A Difficult Issue Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Afraid Of Raising A Difficult Issue? Five Fears And How To Manage Them

"We fear the heat of an honest encounter" The headline above…
Listening in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Listening In A Conflict Situation – It’s Not Just About Nodding Your Head….

In the context of conflict resolution, listening as an intervention…
Time in Difficult Conversations Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Facing A ‘Difficult’ Conflict Conversation? Be Sure You Give It The Time!

Not investing enough time into a 'difficult conversation' can…
Manage Conflict More Effectively Mary Rafferty Consensus Mediation

Manage Conflict More Effectively: Five Reasons To Get Past Being Angry

"Anyone can become angry — that is easy. But to be angry with…